DESIRES OF LIFE!
I am not a philosopher to understand the complicated facts of the life ,still some time ,some where in our life we feel like this is the point in the life or this is the fact of life where I have some proficiency to understand things.
I do not know whether I am correct or not ,but for me life some times becomes so much complex that we aren’t able to sense what we really need, some times we are so much confused that, life’s greatest luxury, greatest happiness means nothing to us.
There are such heartiest relationships, to which you are adhere to, and you even feel very secure in the surrounding of that particular relationship, and at the same time, that closeness, that warmth, that caring sentiment becomes so much significant and important, that your own desires, sentiments get very thinning, very trivial.
What drives us to do this?
People forget that, they have their own life too, a life that is a precious gift given to any one by God.
My argument is, should that importance for your loved one supposed to be that much strong and faithful that you can destroy your feelings, for the sake of your loved one's feelings? Should you suppress your desires for your loved one, may be because; that desire of yours, might be grudgingly accepted?
Its one of the greatest believes of mine that every aspect of life has its own pros and cons. Some desires which might not be important for you now, but in the long run, may be, it might be a boon for you. Some desires which are irrelevant to you now, about which you feel great to conquer it by suppressing your desire, but at the same time it is also true that, may be you can be deprived of that happiness, when you really want it. May be mentally, physically and circumstantially you aren’t capable enough to fulfill you desire now.
Then again continuing my argument, how could you fill that loss, that craving, that hunger, you are having now?
Is it correct to express your hidden emotions ,your desires ,your wish to get revealed to the person from whom you want it ,knowing the fact that ,that person is unenthusiastic to give you ?
I love little discussions, but hopefully my arguments will be justified.
I think it's best to be honest about what we want. I haven't always done that mostly out of fear of rejection.
ReplyDeleteBut, you know the saying, "Nothing ventured nothing gained."
when one is with their loved ones.. little dreams, interests will vanish even thou they know its still their deep inside them. If the things grow with time.. only cracks might form. Earlier it use to happen a lot with women.. I dont think not in this era to such large extent but certainly still happens...! one has to tell their desires and wishes... to their loved only then they will know even though that person doesn't isn;t enthu about these desires. But, thre exists a point one realises the hurt and burn caused by not giving enough enthu for others desires!.. and hope the realization is soon enough! that he would poor water to a dried bed of dreams and wishes which he personnaly did!..
ReplyDeleteall the more, it depends on the guy and girl invovled. And in more or less cases girls are the ones who give up their desires and dreams..! in pursue of him...!.. A stream that has its will and independence to go as it likes and do waht it wants.. till it meets river! then it only contributes to the flow and hence a part of decision of the river!..
Very interesting post !
ReplyDeleteOne should definitely first satisfy and try to get from their own life and then from relationship. If all the stakeholders in the relationship, are not happy themself then the relationship won't be a happy one. Moreover if one is totally dependant on a 'relationship' for satisfaction of all their needs then such relationship is doomed. One or the other will start to feel suffocated.
Having said that let me also add that any desire that potentially might ruin the relationship should be given careful thought.
I can only say that you are the not the only one going through this turmoil. I have seen many cases.
At the end of the day! i feel an achivement without ones loved one beside you...is nothing.. it might be something great for others.. but you would be left all alone with that acheivement..I felt that!.. But its different when they are next to you.. even thou you dont pursue your dreams or they haut! still one would much happy being with your loved one..!..
ReplyDeleteSujit:- Thanks a lot for understanding my point of view.But what would you say to those un fulfilled desires which are very obvious,and the other peoson should know it with out mentioning it.Don't you think it is unfair and sad to ask for each and every desire ?
ReplyDeleteGreenSatya:-I totally agree with you,and thanks a lot for clearing some of the fogs in my thinking process.But what would you say about those desires which might ruin your relationship mentioning it but at the same time,it is very important for you.Some thing emmotionally.
I>t :- You are so right .It's very hard to ignore the factor of fear of rejection.That thought comes to my mind first.
It is not that one has to ask..! one has to express their desire..! and the other has to take pleasure in fulfilling.. then life would be much more interesting!.. otherwise the question of does the person really loves me?.. as can't even fulfill a small desire?.. and these just accumulates and some day!.. they just burst out!.. If its me.. then I would like to fulfill each and every one!.. as long as they can be fulfilled!.. I can;t take her to space?..! thats not possible.. hehe!
ReplyDeleteSharda, I think that most of life's complexities arise when you do not listen to what your brain tells you. This happens at many instances. For e.g., we do not listen to our brains that something is illogical and succumb to what is being taught to us by the society, because we fear what would happen if we take a contrary stand against it. We do not listen to our brains when it tells us to think over an issue because either we do not have much time to spend over thinking about that issue or we are too afraid to think about it. We do not listen to our brains when it tells us to share our emotions, feelings, ideas and thoughts with others because we fear what would happen next. I think if you start listening to your brain all the time from now on, this confusion around you will gradually disappear and you will understand what life actually is.
ReplyDeleteRelationships are not ruined easily ! So, if there is something very important then it is time to speak up. But anything that is done and said, should be with absolute 'honesty'. Talking out always helps. No one would like to be in a relationship in which the other person is not happy. This is an absolute fact.
ReplyDeleteSecondly one has to judge the practicality and importance of the need. If the situation becomes that only one of it is possible(need or relationship) then decisions should be taken based on 'present' ground facts (and never assumptions)
Thirdly, there are few things which can never be met. Hypothetically, like the desire to find someone better. One can go on finding but it will never end. But it is on the person to stop or go on. If someone wants to continue search then again there is nothing wrong, only when done honestly.
All very good questions. If I had known the answers, I would've found myself a soul mate my now :(
ReplyDeletewell, not all of us are mind readers. so, it is better to express what we think. we don't want to be a few years down the line wondering "if only i had expressed myself then...". the fear of rejection is always there. but, even if expressing oneself results in rejection, it ends the confusion there. rejection may be painful. but it is far better than lifelong pain of not expressing oneself.
ReplyDeleteand, as greensatya pointed out, a relation cannot be pleasant if any one involved in it is unhappy. everybody should be happy and content.
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ReplyDeletei am bad at relationships, all i can say is before making someone else happy and comfortable one should be happy.
ReplyDeletehow could you fill that loss, that craving, that hunger, you are having now?
ReplyDelete- By being patient as There is a time for everything. The hunger can be directed towards acheiving your goals.
Sharda make yourself happy. Don't sacrifice your dreams for another person. You are the hero of your story.
ReplyDeleteMe, I've learned quite a few lessons this year. I loved a friend from afar. He's smart, funny and easy on the eyes.
I wanted him and I damned several aspects of my life to have him. Once we got there, it was great till our fantascies faded and life crashed around us. We couldn't live on cloud 9 forever. It wouldn't just be the two of us without people butting in so we called it quits. Now we are learning to be friends all over again.
As for everything else, make it happen. Quit making excuses and just do it. Close your eyes and dive in.
hey what have you done to your blogspot. color composition to bad. I am not able to read your posting. change the setting and bring out something thats cool for reading
ReplyDeletevery close to my heart! i have the same feelings, i wish my mother was a bit selfish.She doesnt care abt herself,im the one who makes her happy, sad n everything else.n im sure many moms r the same.I hope moms could be a bit selfish n could live their life someimes for themselves.
ReplyDelete