What Factors affect your decision making?

I was the youngest child of my parents. I had three elder, loving and caring brothers. And the age gap between my eldest brother and me was about 10-11 years. So he was always very protective and caring towards me.

May be because of this reason I was never taken seriously. My consent never matter all that much as I was/am considered a child, who only needs love and affection. More over there were no problems which would come to me before it would go to my parents or my brothers. And personally my self, I never felt the need, or any deprivation, to interfere with what is going on, or what are the problems at home. Every one kept me miles away from all the worries and tension. So this was my childhood.

In spite of all the love and care, now when I have grown up enough and no more with my parents or brothers, I feel that the attitude of my parents and myself too, was not a good idea. Loving your child and at the same time also showing him/her the responsibilities are two different view points, which can be contemplated at the same time. Now I am at the point where people get angry upon me for not having my own opinion for any matter. I realize this weakness of mine, but at the same time, I feel that some how I am still treated the same way. The only difference is the type of love. Because of my previous image and may be some inadequacy, or not being capable enough for all the serious matters, keep me deprived of giving my opinion. Thinking about it, I have come to some conclusion which I really think which affects someone’s decision making capabilities. Though it is very ironic to accept the facts of life, but this soul searching is the best way to make a difference. I won’t include the fact that you should be mentally sound to make decision as it is very obvious. Besides that there are three factors which plays major role in decision making:-

1) You need to be independent (emotionally and financially).

2) You should have the courage to take initiatives.

3) You should be willing to take risks.

Factor 1

Among all three, I feel that the first factor is the most important one. Emotions and being sensitive is a good quality but at times it becomes the beast of burden. Some times emotions withhold you to take any decision. You start thinking as to what extent your certain decision will affect the concerned person. Some times you’ll get a positive answer but not always. And apparently if you are emotional you won’t think about which decision is favorable for you. Perhaps at that time you won’t even care about your self. You yourself, and the best choice for you becomes unimportant. If you are emotional you can’t be selfish to only think about your self. You’ll always come up with some thing which is good for the other person.

Financial independence is equally important in decision making, but I consider it less important than emotional independence. Because after certain period of time ,in what ever supportive relationship you are, you become emotionally so attached that finance and money doesn’t matter all that much. Now here goes again, emotion plays a major role. It is the emotion which makes you feel safe and secure upon any relationship. But still it is very important in decision making. Ironically the fact that, if you can’t support your self, will make you and your emotions so much broken that you wont dare try to make any decision. If you can’t support your self, you have no right to ask for any thing, even if you want some thing very desperately.

Factor 2

The 2^nd factor is some what linked to the first factor. Apparently to a large extent it affects your decision making if you are not independent financially and emotionally you won’t take initiatives at all. The courage is the real outcome of financial and emotional independence.

Factor 3

Factor 3 is linked to factor 1 as well. Unless you are independent in every respect you can’t take risks in your life. You gamble money, make some financial decisions taking risks, and take any step in your life only when you are financially independent. You are sure that in any case, any loss you are not answerable to any one(at least financially).

After thinking a lot it occurred to me that in India parents are over protective towards their child. In a way it is good but it is harmful as well, because certain qualities do not develop due to that over protection. And among them decision making is the important quality.

Where as in the U.S.; what I like about it is parents do have concerns about their kids, at the same time also make them realize the importance of independence and hence taking decisions on their own. That helps any child not only to think on their own feet but also to come up with a definite solution at a proper time. They are taught to represent their own opinion about certain things. This helps developing the self strength and the sense of responsibilities.

What’s your opinion about it?