Communication Problems!



Just few days back there was a very informative interview of Deepak Chopra was going on XM Radio on channel 121.My fried came from some where and asked me to tune in to that channel. The room was dark, so it took me some time to go to that channel as I was also trying to turn on the light .Feeling my disability to tune in to that channel fast , my friend asked me “is that channel 121?” I said “no it is not.” But he couldn’t hear me correctly and sneeringly said “that is not channel 121?”

Upon which I got really agitated and said “Can’t you see I am turning on the light and trying to tune into that channel!”

Well that was it. We ended up getting upset with each other for quite a while just because of this communication problem and as result were rude to each other. A little communication problem can lead to a serious result and can cause a great deal of misunderstanding. Even though this a very simple and scientific and well researched topic still people fall into that problem most often and make their lives miserable. Sometimes the conflict is very minor but at times it can be very serious.

Perhaps one of main causes for conflicts is miscommunication. But if people just take some time to understand where the problem came from, life can be much easier. I have realized that miscommunication is a result of three step falter:-

1) First person did not process his/her thoughts accurately before conveying the message and so used inappropriate or incorrect words.

2) Second person could not hear those words accurately.

3) Second person could not process those words into thoughts accurately.

Now miscommunication can happen at any step. In our case miscommunication was in the step 2.Which is the second person could not hear me accurately. If he had heard me correctly he would have not said “that is not channel 121”, and I would have not gotten agitated at all.

Fortunately we realized this problem of miscommunication very quick and solved it out.

Most of the time conflicts are because of just miscommunication, other wise no one wants to hurt others feeling, as by nature every one wants to please every one else.

Most important thing is to realize ,at which step this miscommunication happened and try to understand and forgive each other, rather than keep agonizing and making the situation worst and turning it into a big fight forever.

Comments

  1. Maverick12:04 PM

    i agree completely and most of the times these happen because of such small things and then the ego comes up. Even if we really dont want tht situation, someone has to break the silence and start the friendship again.In my case i usually try to handle such sensitive situations with humor, but yes sometimes when u r really pissed off and r in tht rage of anger ur mind stops working.n then later u realize tht one phone call can make it all.

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  2. Krishnakumar1:58 AM

    Completely agree with this.

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  3. Inder2:21 AM

    my friend used to say, "put yourself in the others' shoes. you will never misunderstand them".

    your friend was too eager to listen to that stuff on radio. he didn't want to miss much.

    you genuinely tried to tune to that channel but had a tough time doing so due to less light.

    i think communication problems happen all the time. that is life :)

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  4. Raj2:31 AM

    Yeah, its very easy for things to get complicated bcos of such problems. And there are times when the 2 people involved want to sort out their differences but still don't want to be the first to do it. You know, bcos of their egos.

    Things are even more difficult when the communication is not direct as in your case. Imagine being on the phone. You could just hang up the phone and never call the other person again.

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  5. Anonymous5:22 AM

    hey nice post.. whole world work on the tune of communication...
    the very first step towards good communication is always speak good...
    and then have patience to listen...
    something i want to add...
    "thoughts are like arrow; once released they strike their mark. guard them well or one day you may be your own victim.."

    take care..

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  6. Anonymous5:56 AM

    Sharda: Such things happen when we are much preoccupied with other things in our mind.I have seen my husband sometimes go little anger with me when I miss the point when he says. On the other hand, if he misses it, I don't poke him coz doing it agian will increse more tension. Well in the end he knows his mistake and says sorry:-))

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  7. Twisted DNA3:48 PM

    Good post. I think there are two kinds of disagreements.

    1. Communication issues: Two people actually agree but don't know it. They fail to communicate to each other that they agree

    2. The real disagreements: Two people don't agree and communicate it well.

    What ever the root of disagreement is, as long we respect the other person and give him/her a chance to explain things, a lot of disagreements can end in peace.

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  8. Minal8:07 PM

    agree completely. Understood the full impact of this mantra once I got married Now I vouch by it.

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  9. rohitj10:36 AM

    i would like to add one more thing. Sometimes first person is thinking something and wants the same to say but due to some other things going in his mind or some other reason he speaks something else. It usually happens with me. since i think a lot, i usually speak without concentrating on what i am saying, so sometimes i want to speak something else but i speak some otherthing. I usually skip words when i am writing. well, my mother says it is called "upset mindedness" but i disagreed.

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