Lets Talk !
Every country has its own culture its own way of dressing,its belief ,ways to talk etc etc.It is not that I do not like my culture and my heritage.But when I am away from my country I do not keep doing the same things and keep living the same way I use to in my country.I had to change my self tremendously and I am still doing that every day,every moment.And I think this the reason some one came up with a very good saying that "When in Rome live like Romans." I believe this statement and try to implement in my every day life.
I can enumerate so many things which I do differently than I used to do in my country,for example:-
1)I try to change my English accent.
2)I am trying to develop the taste of healthy food over here.
3)Eating habits.
4)Learn Common etiquette.
5)Dressing style.
6)Interacting with people.
There are many more which I can not recall now.Starting with the first one,I have to say that it is very important to learn the accent of that place where you live.At times it is very embarrassing and frustrating when you can not express your self or can not explain your self to some one.All the words we have learnt so far are spoken differently here in the U.S.The words which have one syllable like "look,bring,follow,give,take",these word are spoken more or less the same way.But the words which have more than two syllables are very different from what we used to speak in India.We have time syllable concept ,we put same amount of stress on every syllable.Words like "parameter,hot-mail,procrastination" .Where as Americans have the concept of "stressed syllable",in which they stress differently on each and every syllable and that makes a whole lot of a difference.Now if we keep speaking the same way as we used to in India ,it is very hard for them to understand you.At that time what they do is they will cock their head towards you as if they have to put so much effort on understanding you.Still some times they have problems .That is frustrating for you as well as for him.Now these people are so well mannered that they would never act in such a way that you will feel offended.But it is bad.We should work on that.And I don't see any thing wrong in learning some thing in an improvised way.
Same is the case with cuisine.I am not saying that you start eating beef or pork.Here too if some one is a vegetarian,they are considered quite health conscious and it is alright.And that is the reason every American restaurant has some sort of vegetarian food item.So don't eat beef and pork, but don't lean only towards India food.If every one in the group is having food at the same place,you insist on not having food here as you are an Indian and would like to have these food items may be extremely inadequate.We should avoid that.
Dressing style is one of the things I have too much problem with.I don't hate Indian dresses but I don't want myself to look like an odd man out,or a funny character from some alien planet.I want to look like a normal person who can mix with every one else .Some times I see women applied huge bindi,hand full of bangles,salwar kurta with dupatta on one side,payal and many such things.Just for the sake of maintaing my culture I don't like people staring at me.Tell me who will understand the fashion of dupatta on one side and other side barren .I don't think any American will understand that fashion and will be appreciative of that.And you don't find many Indians here to appreciate that style.So its your choice.Americans will rather look at you as if you have gone senile to dress like a joker.Yes when you are in India ,dress as you should.
How you interact with people is also a great and a different deal altogether .But that could be another blog.There should be some kind of boundary where you should stop bothering and interfering into people's life.Some of our Indian friends do not understand this,which is very testy to me.I start giving these kinds of people a cold shoulder after a while,because I can not put up with this behavior.In that sense American are very practical.They would not interfere beyond a certain limit.It is up to you if you still mess and make your life hell.
But the travesty is in spite of going through all the embarrassment we Indians don't want to change ourselves.Some times because of our dogmatic culture,some times we don't care what others think of us out of ignorance and most of time we are so conscious of our own people ,that they might not like the way you are changing your self like a foreign country and forgetting your culture and heritage.The peer pressure of not changing our selves keep us away from embracing the good things in other cultures.
These are some of the things which I would like to change in myself for the above reasons.I would like all my blog Friends to opine on the views I have.And please this is not to offend some one.Try to take it easy.
I can enumerate so many things which I do differently than I used to do in my country,for example:-
1)I try to change my English accent.
2)I am trying to develop the taste of healthy food over here.
3)Eating habits.
4)Learn Common etiquette.
5)Dressing style.
6)Interacting with people.
There are many more which I can not recall now.Starting with the first one,I have to say that it is very important to learn the accent of that place where you live.At times it is very embarrassing and frustrating when you can not express your self or can not explain your self to some one.All the words we have learnt so far are spoken differently here in the U.S.The words which have one syllable like "look,bring,follow,give,take",these word are spoken more or less the same way.But the words which have more than two syllables are very different from what we used to speak in India.We have time syllable concept ,we put same amount of stress on every syllable.Words like "parameter,hot-mail,procrastination" .Where as Americans have the concept of "stressed syllable",in which they stress differently on each and every syllable and that makes a whole lot of a difference.Now if we keep speaking the same way as we used to in India ,it is very hard for them to understand you.At that time what they do is they will cock their head towards you as if they have to put so much effort on understanding you.Still some times they have problems .That is frustrating for you as well as for him.Now these people are so well mannered that they would never act in such a way that you will feel offended.But it is bad.We should work on that.And I don't see any thing wrong in learning some thing in an improvised way.
Same is the case with cuisine.I am not saying that you start eating beef or pork.Here too if some one is a vegetarian,they are considered quite health conscious and it is alright.And that is the reason every American restaurant has some sort of vegetarian food item.So don't eat beef and pork, but don't lean only towards India food.If every one in the group is having food at the same place,you insist on not having food here as you are an Indian and would like to have these food items may be extremely inadequate.We should avoid that.
Dressing style is one of the things I have too much problem with.I don't hate Indian dresses but I don't want myself to look like an odd man out,or a funny character from some alien planet.I want to look like a normal person who can mix with every one else .Some times I see women applied huge bindi,hand full of bangles,salwar kurta with dupatta on one side,payal and many such things.Just for the sake of maintaing my culture I don't like people staring at me.Tell me who will understand the fashion of dupatta on one side and other side barren .I don't think any American will understand that fashion and will be appreciative of that.And you don't find many Indians here to appreciate that style.So its your choice.Americans will rather look at you as if you have gone senile to dress like a joker.Yes when you are in India ,dress as you should.
How you interact with people is also a great and a different deal altogether .But that could be another blog.There should be some kind of boundary where you should stop bothering and interfering into people's life.Some of our Indian friends do not understand this,which is very testy to me.I start giving these kinds of people a cold shoulder after a while,because I can not put up with this behavior.In that sense American are very practical.They would not interfere beyond a certain limit.It is up to you if you still mess and make your life hell.
But the travesty is in spite of going through all the embarrassment we Indians don't want to change ourselves.Some times because of our dogmatic culture,some times we don't care what others think of us out of ignorance and most of time we are so conscious of our own people ,that they might not like the way you are changing your self like a foreign country and forgetting your culture and heritage.The peer pressure of not changing our selves keep us away from embracing the good things in other cultures.
These are some of the things which I would like to change in myself for the above reasons.I would like all my blog Friends to opine on the views I have.And please this is not to offend some one.Try to take it easy.
I can't agree more on every issue you have stressed. I totally agree with them.
ReplyDeleteWith accent, if you go back to India and use the same accent, people will make fun. They dont understand the need. In Europe, the accent is totally different as well !!
The other common thing is most Indians will search for Indian restaurant in the new country, Why ???
Common etiquette and small talk is also important. We in India have the habit of asking way too many personal questions !
I fully agree with you. Nice read !!
ReplyDeleteSharda: I never go to Indian Restaurants coz they do not treat their own people well and its about tips. How mean??
ReplyDeleteWhen you start working everything comes i and you can learn yourself. Accent varies from eat to south and west to north. Even locals from south going to north east, find hard to understand.
If you are here, talk slowly and use simple words to make peole understand.
~~priablog~~
OMG u and I have written abt the same things at the same time! Check my current post :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post Sharda! I totally agree with ya. I believe in this 'When in Rome, do as the romans'...fullstop!
U rock!
Keshi.
Wow! I still have to read the last four posts of yours. A long weekend is coming up. Give me some time. I'll read all and then comment on each. Okay? :)
ReplyDelete"Be a roman in Rome ", There is nothing wrong in changing oneself with respect to the place where we live. But as you said, there is a little fear in minds of few people about other's opinions and comments which they don't need to care at all.
ReplyDelete