I have problem asking for !

I am very introvert by nature. There was a time when I used to be very outspoken, very witty and very demanding. I would just say it or ask for some thing I wanted. I would not care what the consequences will be; the fact that I want some thing was enough for me to go for it. It was my good fortune that I was never reprimanded or for that reason put any stop on that nature. As a result I kept doing that until now.

As I grew up, things changed, and I have changed exactly by 180 degree. There is no similarity between me then and now. I look at my self and I can not say I am the same person I used to be. Why that happened, I do not have a clear answer for it. Perhaps I had lots of expectations which when not fulfilled; lead me to the path of not opening myself any more.

Earlier when people would say that the best time of your life is when you are a student, when you are a kid, when you live with your parents. At that time I would laugh my lungs out. I would think,"no the best time of some one's life is when he/she has money in the pocket of his own”. I was so wrong to even think that. Money makes substantial difference for the things which are owned by money, but what about the emotions. Emotions play a great role in our lives. Those emotions need to be fulfilled at any cost. The best thing is to get those emotions full-filled. When you are a kid you do not have to give hints, or ask for it from your parents. If parents are capable of, they do not want any hint from you. Things change when you grow up. Now you either have to hint for each and every desire of yours, or just speak up. Which at times are very painful. Certain desires are not verbal, need to be understood from one's heart. It is more painful when you know that the person knows what you want and still shows the ignorance. What to do then.

These are the times, when I want to change myself badly. I just want to scream and speak up like a kid,"I want this, give me this”. Even though, I don't like to race to things but some times I like things to happen on its own without me telling any thing. I don't want some one to explore the fantasies rolling around my head, but be a little considerate towards the woman inside me.
I do not believe the fact that on the one hand someone can be so much experienced in psychology of life and on the other hand can be so ignorant of trivial things. It is very amazing to me.
But then that is what life is and I can not be in cahoots with any one for this. I wish I could change myself into old me some day.