How it all happened!

The day I found out I was pregnant I took very good care of myself. I have always been very healthy and aware of all the do and don’ts during pregnancy. There was a time when I would think that while pregnant, a woman is supposed to lay on the bed all the time.Doing any work was far from my imagination. However when my own time came I realized that the theory was all rubbish unless of course in certain medical condition.

So long story short I kept exercising, eating what ever I wanted limiting some of the things that are prohibited during pregnancy. I was hyperactive active throughout the pregnancy. The day before Tutty-Fruty was born P(My husband) and I went for bowling.

When my bag of water broke in the midnight of 30^th November, went to the hospital with out any pain. I was started with gel. Unfortunately, I did not dilate as much as I was supposed to be and the doctor did not want to wait for long. Still I never in my dream thought that I would have to go under the knife. My doctor was a complete jerk and money minded. Even before few hours of starting of real labor, she started talking about C-Section, for which I kept strongly opposing. Later I do not know what the conspiracy was that my situation and baby’s condition turned upside down all of a sudden.

I was prepped for C-Section and as if all the papers were ready before I gave my consent. In a hurry I was asked to sign the consent paper and there I was lying in the OT helpless, numb and having my baby by C-Section.

Finally, she was born, she was healthy and there were no signs of distress in her. I heard her first cry. I was sadder than any thing on that day, which was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I felt as if I will never be the same person with the same body again, which I still think.

I do not know in old days and in India even today, how babies are born naturally. Here women are hooked up with so many monitors and that leads to C-section instead of a pure natural birth. One medical intervention leads to another and finally lands to a C-Section.

Nevertheless, this whole procedure showed a new person to me in my husband. He was always by my side when I was in pain, ignoring his own comfort altogether. He took care of me as a devoted nurse; cleaning my dirt without any hesitation. When I was in silent tears, he gently kept wiping them. When I was melting in my own misery, he was there to support me in every way.Isn't he great and loving .(and he is mine :D)

Without going into much detail, I expressed my grief which gives me a mental satisfaction (kind of).My whole birth experience was devastating and I do not know how long it will take me to recover from that. Now I have lost faith in taking care of myself, my body, exercise, good diet and many such things. The only thing I care about is my baby, who when smiles makes me forget all the miseries I went through.