My mind is always in a hurry!
Last weekend we went to a Radha-Krishna Temple for Janmashtami celebration hoping that my kids will love it.The celebration event time was around 4:30-8:30 pm and so we thought dinner will be served around 8:30pm.We left home at around 6:00pm apparently not in too much rush to see the events.On the way we decided to stop by at dairy queen to have a quick softy.My daughters picked up chilled lemonade.
All of us were enjoying and then suddenly we realized that we might get late.Kids on the other hand were aloof about every thing and were enjoying their chilled lemonades.They looked extremely happy when we threw a bomb at them saying we have to rush and they have to finish fast.They tried to gobble up as fast as they could but the chilled drink was hard to swallow for them.Anyway being two inconsiderate parents we took our drinks and asked them to leave the store.Now the rule for our kids is not to take any drink other than water in the car.So before leaving both of them threw away their chilled lemonade without even drinking 1/4 of it,with so much frustration,anger and sadness.I could see all these through their eyes even without talking.
We reached the temple ,if we were late or what was the experience there ,that is a another topic which is not relevant here.
The thought that dawned upon me at that time was that we are always in so much hurry that we are not letting our kids live their life.They are at such an age that almost every experience is new to them,they question about every single existence,they stop to look at every new insect,they stop to see any strange type of character they see.They are curious by nature,they question about every new thing without thinking about consequences.
When we see a homeless person we get scared,when we see ourselves in dark ,isolated places we fear ,but kids asks questions, why is every thing so different .Instead of being fearful of unseen,unfortunate event which can occur in darkness of night,they start admiring the dark sky,they get happy looking at the twinkling stars,they enjoy the calm,balmy weather.We can agonize,we can scold them,we can explain them but they still take their own time.
I am not advocating that dont teach them the consequences of not hurrying up in such situations,but be gentle to them. Dont accuse them of being stupid.We are always in a hurry because after so many years we have experience almost every occurrence,nothing is new to us.That is the reason we are bored,want to hurry up and get over with things.Not them.How many things has a 4 year kids seen and experienced?
When I walk in the sun ,I feel hot and want to walk fast and reach home.All of us know that kids don't feel that kind of heat,even at that time they want to stop every minute and explore things.It is genuine for an adult to get upset because neither do they have that kind of stamina nor that kind of enthusiasm.As a result we deprive them of their learning opportunities which is wrong.
This is why being parents require so much patience.After this weekend I have beginning to realize I am damaging their learning abilities.I sometimes also wonder that my parents never hurried up with us so much as we do with our kids.Then where is this coming from in our attitudes.And I realize this is the product of the way we live now a days.Always in a hurry of finishing one task and getting onto another,and we impose that hurry on our kids.
All of us were enjoying and then suddenly we realized that we might get late.Kids on the other hand were aloof about every thing and were enjoying their chilled lemonades.They looked extremely happy when we threw a bomb at them saying we have to rush and they have to finish fast.They tried to gobble up as fast as they could but the chilled drink was hard to swallow for them.Anyway being two inconsiderate parents we took our drinks and asked them to leave the store.Now the rule for our kids is not to take any drink other than water in the car.So before leaving both of them threw away their chilled lemonade without even drinking 1/4 of it,with so much frustration,anger and sadness.I could see all these through their eyes even without talking.
We reached the temple ,if we were late or what was the experience there ,that is a another topic which is not relevant here.
The thought that dawned upon me at that time was that we are always in so much hurry that we are not letting our kids live their life.They are at such an age that almost every experience is new to them,they question about every single existence,they stop to look at every new insect,they stop to see any strange type of character they see.They are curious by nature,they question about every new thing without thinking about consequences.
When we see a homeless person we get scared,when we see ourselves in dark ,isolated places we fear ,but kids asks questions, why is every thing so different .Instead of being fearful of unseen,unfortunate event which can occur in darkness of night,they start admiring the dark sky,they get happy looking at the twinkling stars,they enjoy the calm,balmy weather.We can agonize,we can scold them,we can explain them but they still take their own time.
I am not advocating that dont teach them the consequences of not hurrying up in such situations,but be gentle to them. Dont accuse them of being stupid.We are always in a hurry because after so many years we have experience almost every occurrence,nothing is new to us.That is the reason we are bored,want to hurry up and get over with things.Not them.How many things has a 4 year kids seen and experienced?
When I walk in the sun ,I feel hot and want to walk fast and reach home.All of us know that kids don't feel that kind of heat,even at that time they want to stop every minute and explore things.It is genuine for an adult to get upset because neither do they have that kind of stamina nor that kind of enthusiasm.As a result we deprive them of their learning opportunities which is wrong.
This is why being parents require so much patience.After this weekend I have beginning to realize I am damaging their learning abilities.I sometimes also wonder that my parents never hurried up with us so much as we do with our kids.Then where is this coming from in our attitudes.And I realize this is the product of the way we live now a days.Always in a hurry of finishing one task and getting onto another,and we impose that hurry on our kids.
Now I have decided I will try not to say "we don't have time for this." Because that is basically saying ,"we don't have time to live." I feel like I am a bully who pushes and pressures and hurries small kids who simply want to enjoy life.It is going to be difficult in the beginning to break my bad habit of hurrying up ,but at least I will try my best.
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