Children have their own mind!

 Today is almost mid way to the first quarter of online learning for my children. Today it has also been 6 months of P working from home. I am as it is, except my life has changed dramatically in last 6 months. 

In the beginning I thought, this is God's boon that we are fortunate to spend time together, but as time is passing, I feel, we are getting more and more far apart than before. There is less emotional connection between us now. I have seen P work like this in the early days when I just moved to America. That time was difficult enough for me. I came from an extended family surrounded around me to completely no one at all. P worked like crazy and in the free time he was too engrossed in watching T.V. I did not mind because I was also pursuing my masters degree and would spend most of time learning and studying. Even though at times I wished I had someone to talk to.

Now P starts working by 7:30 Am and works non-stop till 6:00PM. He eats lunch too while working. 

T studies from 8:00 am to 12:00 noon. O studies from 10:00 AM to 12:00Noon. It is pretty much the same everyday.

The strangest thing that has started in my home is, all of sudden T thinks that it is bad to look at the screen for her eyesight. Even though if allowed she can watch T.V the whole day, without any complication. Somehow she has manipulated O about it in such a way that now except Zoom meetings O never studies. Since all the study resources are available online and there is no way a child can study without going online. O, who was once always studying and learning something, now never wants to study. She just watches T.V or reads on kindle and tends T.

I feel completely sidelined, because O never listens to me. She has become a complete slave of T now. T's words are like commands to her. If I call O, and T is talking to her at that time, I have to completely forget that I need O to come quickly to me. Some days hours pass that both sisters ever come to me to talk or do anything with me. I feel that both have left home. 

When everyone is off from their T.V., study and work routine, and want food, they recall that they have a mother. At that time everyone wants me to be happy and cheery for everyone's sake. I am not a robot with a switch button who at every press becomes happy or sad. I am a human being with feelings, and emotions.

Thank goodness that this loneliness pushed me towards writing and reading. And I honestly like writing and learning new ways and style of writing. I am constantly exploring ways to keep myself motivated to writing. I look for prompts and writing contests because cash rewards is a big incentive. It gives me a purpose in life.

After everyone is done they want me to stop what I am doing and start entertaining them right away. I can not do that. They make fun of me for hanging out on social media in spite of the fact, that I am rarely on social media.

Why do people have to undermine others work.