Scrub, Save, Slay

 

You know that feeling when you walk into a store, pick up a bottle of “Ultra-Mega-Super-Powerful” cleaner, glance at the price tag, and nearly faint into the detergent aisle? Yeah, me too. That's right.

Let me tell you, I’ve spent decades perfecting the art of cleaning while dodging overpriced chemical cocktails that claim to dissolve grime but mostly just dissolve my bank account. After years of trial and (sometimes disastrous) errors, I’ve cracked the code on homemade cleaning products that are cheap, effective, and won’t make your house smell like a chemical warfare zone. I lerned this the hard way, because I had no choice. My daughter had ectopic eczema and I had to stay away from harsh chemicals to keep the skin flare-ups less.

And guess what? They cost pennies compared to those fancy store-bought ones.

So grab your apron (or your old college T-shirt—who am I to judge?), and let’s make some magic happen in the cleaning department inside the convenience of your home kitchen.

The Almighty All-Purpose Cleaner

(AKA: The MVP of Household Cleaners)

Let’s be real—if you only make one DIY cleaner, make it this. It works on counters, tables, sinks, doorknobs, and even the occasional mystery stain that you swear wasn’t there yesterday.

What You Need:

• 1 cup white vinegar (nature’s disinfectant)

• 1 cup water (straight from the tap, fancy)

• 1 teaspoon baking soda (for deodorizing and mild scrubbing power)

• 10 drops essential oil (optional, but it makes your house smell like you have your life together)

How to Make It:

Mix everything in a spray bottle, shake it like you’re making a margarita, and voila! Spray and wipe—it’s that easy.

Pro Tip: Avoid using vinegar on granite or marble countertops unless you enjoy ruining expensive things.

The Window & Mirror Miracle Spray

(AKA: The “Did I Just Walk into Glass?” Cleaner)

This one’s for when you’re tired of streaky mirrors that make you look like a Picasso painting.

What You Need:

• 2 cups water

• ½ cup white vinegar

• ¼ cup rubbing alcohol (70% or higher)

• A few drops lemon juice (because it smells like clean and happiness)

How to Make It:

Mix, spray, wipe. Your mirrors will be so clear that your reflection might scare you.

Pro Tip: Use a microfiber cloth instead of paper towels unless you enjoy battling lint.

The Super-Sudsy Dish Soap Hack

(AKA: How to Stretch One Bottle for Six Months)

Ever noticed how store-bought dish soap disappears faster than chocolate in a house full of teenagers? Here’s how to make it last longer than your patience on a Monday morning.

What You Need:

• ½ cup castile soap (like Dr. Bronner’s, which makes you feel fancy and eco-friendly)

• 1½ cups water

• 1 teaspoon vegetable glycerin (makes it nice and bubbly)

• 10 drops essential oil (optional, but trust me—worth it)

How to Make It:

Mix gently, pour into a soap dispenser, and use sparingly. Your dishes will be clean, and your wallet will thank you.

Pro Tip: If you’re out of dish soap, a tiny bit of baking soda and vinegar can work in a pinch. It won’t bubble, but it gets the grease off.

The Magic Carpet & Upholstery Deodorizer

(AKA: Say Goodbye to Funky Smells)

Because sometimes, Febreze just won’t cut it, and no one likes sitting on a couch that smells like old socks and lost hopes.

What You Need:

• 1 cup baking soda

• 10 drops lavender or eucalyptus oil (because “fresh” is a mood)

• 1 teaspoon cornstarch (helps absorb moisture)

How to Make It:

Mix well, sprinkle over carpets and upholstery, let it sit for 20 minutes, and vacuum. The result? A fresh-smelling home without the chemical cloud.

Pro Tip: Store this in an old spice jar with a shaker top for easy use.

My Personal Thought: The Math That’ll Make You Cry (In a Good Way)

Let’s break it down:

• Store-bought cleaners cost about $5-$10 each, adding up to $150+ a year.

• DIY cleaners? The ingredients cost about $20 total and last a whole year (or longer).

That’s a savings of $130+ a year—aka one full spa day, a fancy dinner, or a new pair of guilt-free shoes.

So ditch the overpriced chemicals, embrace the power of DIY, and turn your home into a clean, fresh-smelling paradise—without spending a fortune.

Got a homemade cleaning hack? Drop it in the comments—I promise I won’t judge if it involves vodka (for cleaning, of course).