My Views and Ideas: Life and Parenting

Last day of 2019. I have mixed feelings about this whole year. First Half of this year was spent in anticipating meeting my mother and 2nd half of the year I spent mourning her death. In 2018 when I saw my mother the last time , I never thought I will not see her again. Physically she was not very fit, she was having difficulty walking and keeping up with her everyday routine, but she was still happy and content. As if she has fulfilled her purpose of life and what ever is left is beyond her capacity ,the  things about  which she can not do anything, the things she can not change anymore. She had given up on all the remaining things about which she was unhappy. In a way I felt good about it, that she has accepted that some times in life people have no control over matters. My 2019 started with lots of zeal and vigor. I was happy that I am healthy, I was very consistent in my exercise routine, my family was happy and healthy. Could not ask for more than this. As months pas...

Recently I bought a much awaited  instant pot.I had this item in my wish list for more than over an year. For a 6 quart pot other wise I would have to pay $126 something .Where as I paid just $44 because of the prime day deal on amazon. I was very happy and excited to use this instant pot as I have heard so many nice things and great meals it can cook and save me lots of time. Now that I have it and have used it several times,I am very disappointed in this pot as all the claims I have read so far turning to be wrong one by one. The biggest challenge people talked about was operating it ,as it has so many buttons that at times it feels overwhelming as how I am going to learn about all the features and usage of buttons and finally be able to cook something. So let me tell you as daunting as it looks ,it is the easiest appliance you can use and work with. Here are some of the cons of this pot :- 1) The pot-in-pot(PIP) method is complete garbage.You ask why ? Because it is ...

My Daughter is learning to play Clarinet.She is playing quite well for a beginner.She is taking lessons apart from her school music classes. When I see her play Clarinet and the time, effort and money we are paying into her music lessons reminds me of the time when I was a girl  and wanted to learn a musical instrument so much.In our days music was learnt mostly  by  children who were from the musical family background.We were just too simpletons to learn a musical instrument.For us every thing was just study and study and study. Today I was listening to some songs of Kumar Sanu(don't ask me why).The songs took me  19-20 years back when I was in college.The effect was not that magical anymore though.I still liked the songs but not to the extent where earlier it felt divine.When he sang about mountains and hills ,I would really see mountains and hills.When he compared the beauty of the girl's eye with the depth of the mountain I could relate to what he was trying ...

I have always believed that sisters are for each other forever.I am one of those unfortunate ones who has no sister.The belief  has become stronger ,after my mother passed away.I always feel , If Only I had a sister ,I would not feel so miserable the way I am feeling now.

It has been almost 8 months that my mother passed away.8 pain full months.It is hard to accept that The word "maa" does not exist in my vocabulary anymore.My "maa" took that away from me as she left this world. Every morning as I try to rise above this awful sadness I feel,I realize how much she meant to me. My life has lost its meaning, lost the happiness I had once.I know every one has their own agenda and no one has the time to grieve with me, and I dont expect that from anyone either. As I was thinking about "maa", I recalled a very funny event .Once we were going to our maternal grandmaa's village.My grandfather(paternal) packed lunch for us, called the bullock cart ,made the bed inside the cart, made us all comfy and set us off.My mother ,my three brothers and me. It was a scorching summer afternoon. All of us left.My mother and I was sitting inside the cart, while my brothers were  walking ,trotting ,playing with every single stick they wo...

I took the challenge of writing my blog everyday starting today for a month.I will try as hard as I can to keep up with the challenge I took. Today I started reading a new book.Even though it is a children's book,I find it very interesting and  intriguing.As I finish the book I will post the update and write about it.The book has evoked so many strong feeling inside me from my childhood which is still relevant .

Today I lost the most important person of my life: MY MOTHER. I am here in the USA, in disbelief that the word "maa" is deleted from my vocabulary now.My "maa" is gone.The word which was once the only word I knew, the word I learnt first ,the word I started my every sentence with is ,completely wiped out of my dictionary. I dont know where she is, but I dont want to be sad either because I feel she is standing beside me.My brain cant accept the fact that she is no more.I am not able to force my self to believe that I can not see her anymore,I can not feel her anymore,I can not hear her anymore. Till the last moment I will have this complain with her that she did not wait  for me a little longer.I was going to come to her in 36 days,I was coming to see her in the village,I told her that with so much excitement ,but she still did not wait for me.She left without seeing me. Now who will embrace me with open arms ,who will hug me, who will give me water first an...

Eighteen years ago once I was standing in front of a diamond ring display box in a  jewelry store.The shop staff came to me ,snickered and clarified that these are diamond rings. I moved away thinking, one day I will come back.Consoled myself thinking, that right now the shop staff dosen't know that I also have a dream of becoming someone one day ,that my husband earns dollars. Today eighteen years have passed since then, I am still where I was then.I still see that shop staff snickering at me.