My Views and Ideas: Life and Parenting

When we watch T.V or movies,kids look so awesome,they look so bubbly and full of pleasure ,who can make you forget life's all worries.This is more or less true even when you see a friend's kids,or kids in other distant family in real life.However the scenario is completely different when you are  confronted  by your own kids with whom you have to spend 24/7 .Then the picture is not so  pleasant  all the time. I said "confronted", because at times they become so  argumentative,that you have to become a straight laced parent to handle  the situation.They will come up with all kinds of excuses to get their way,yet you have to keep your composure or things get even worse. In spite of all when you talk about them to your friends and family you have to put the cover up.Even the close family members wont understand that kids can be mean and they develop their own nature.But 'no',people will still judge you,most of kids bad  behavior  can be put ...

Everyone needs a little embrace.An embrace in which you breathe,melt, drown in the sadness,complain,giggle,argue,fight,become happy everything in the world.For me that is the mother's embrace.Some times it may be true and some times not really.How can you get past the enormous love once you got from your mother's embrace. Today I was talking to my mother and all of a sudden she became so emotional.I wont say I did not feel that emotion because I can imagine what pain she is going through without me.What she said today sounded a little uncouth to me in the beginning ,however when she elaborated it ,I felt how sad she must have been at that moment.She said to me  that,even though she is a human mother but her life has become like a dog who gives birth to her kids and after few years she has no relation,no connection with the born puppies at all. This is more or less true.It has been 13 years that I departed from my mother.In this period I saw her 3 times ,every time for few d...

Food is such an eminent part of my life,or for that matter for everyone ,that without talking about food the whole conversation seems incomplete.My husband and daughters are big food lovers.In all these years I have come to the conclusion that food dosent have to be complicated to taste good.I consider some of the simplest food in my house to be also the tastiest. One of them is this "Broccoli Paratha".I can never go wrong with this.Everyone in my house loves this.It is simple to make,very quick and packed with nutritions,especially for kids.It is very forgiving and flexible recipe too,you can substitute broccoli with cauliflower,cabbage,spinach etc-etc. Here is what you are going to need. whole wheat flour- 2 cups Broccoli - Enough to make your dough green,The more the better(grated fine). whole cumin seeds - 2-3 pinches coriander leaves - a fist ful(chopped) salt - to taste oil - 2-3 teaspoon for mixing the dough oil - depending on the number of  pa...

Most of the time it is so easy to say ,"stand up for your self".More often it is easy too, only if you have enough determination and courage.Some times the task becomes so daunting and discouraging that you actually can not stand up for your self. For me Driving has become some thing like this.Every time I fail,I completely give up .Then somehow I gather courage and try again and there I go,I make such fatal mistakes that I again incline to give up.Right now I am in the boat where I feel like I will never sit in the driver's seat again. Driving is such a thing ,that I cant not take a chance to make a mistake.For me more because I have two kids sitting in the back seat.I can not jeopardize their life.It has become so frustrating that I dont think I can keep up with this.What is more frustrating that the whole America drives.I wonder am I that stupid that I cant even drive a car.  Some things are not for everyone.Maybe driving is one of them for me.I will just stick to...

My communication skills are intolerable and annoying.I had no idea I can not understand simple instruction,simple conversation.I wish people had told me before when I was growing up.People in India encourage meek behavior in girls so much that they develop strange ,dumb personality. Or may be it is just me.I feel so scared  of some people ,that slight chance of dispute and I completely collapse inside.This attitude is not in front of everyone.The moment I realize that the person is going to have a serious conversation,I am so dead  sure that I wont understand and my brain is completely stifled.I stop thinking.And in that exasperation ,I am unable to think clearly and cant take decisions, I just become so fearful. I understand it is a bad trait in a person.However I wonder why this happens !Is it completely my fault?  

I did not mean this to be a lazy post.I am so excited , my little "O" will start her school in a month.I am busy finding appropriate school items for her and Ordering school supplies for  my elder daughter. So this post is an unintentional lazy post.

The title seems so mundane,so ordinary isn't it? Because  everyone has to go through this someway or the other.There is no escape most of the time.And honestly no one can say ,they dont think about it . At least I do.So lashing out will be the easiest one ,the same is with keeping silent too.Moreover these two ways can annoy each other which is no good.So in all these years what I have observed work best are these :- 1)When you think the matter is going out of hand try to escape immediately to the bathroom. No one can say anything or object and ask you to continue the conflict.Take enough time in the bathroom to let things cool down a little. 2)Pick the safe topics you know about which will most likely never lead to conflicts,such as weather,food,childhood stories,grandparents social events in the family etc-etc. 3)Never talk about travel.I always had bad experience with it. 4)Never talk about how loved you are in your family ,because most likely ...

I remember some where along the road ,when I considered myself still a student ,someone said to me that his saddest moment is when he has to teach me something.Till this date I could not come out of that evaluation.This dosent mean I attribute all the failures of my life to that person,nevertheless it had a huge impact on me.I had already lost the battle of my career when I could not compete the medical entrance test .After that no matter what I did I proved my self a looser.I could not get over that. Today I was teaching my elder daughter some math concept and the memory became refreshed. They are so tender sentimentally ,that I do not ever want to have a slip of tongue and ruin the image of herself in her own eyes. She has been doing addition problems for quite sometime.Today I  was teaching her "carry-on-addition".She grasped the concept quickly and did all questions right.But when I gave her mixed problems,some carry-ons and some without,she made few mistakes. I assum...

Every morning I wake up thinking about doing so much .I have books in my reading list to read,I have to do summer reading program with my kids,"T" has  to practice reading and writing and do maths with me.Then do some arts and craft with my daughters to keep them occupied,exercise,alter some of my clothes etc-etc.This list is apart from everyday chores of cooking cleaning,ironing,mending,etc-etc.Some times it feels like  24 hours of time is nothing to finish this amount of work ,let alone my own hobbies. In spite of the long list of work at the end of the day,it seems like half of the time is spent in feeding my kids.My little "O" ,still needs help in eating and drinking milk.Now to be fair to "T" naturally ,I have to spend some time to feed her too. At the end of the day it feels so unsatisfied.It is hard to decide which work to skip and which is the most important.At that time the easiest choice becomes to skip exercise,I always wonder why is that? ...

May 1st, 2014 was the day when for the first time I had the realization of my health problem.I went to the emergency that night.Even though I needed to see the doctor so badly it never happened.Only a nurse practitioner could see me and I was sent back home with some treatment and few suggestions, most important being ,"see your doctor as soon as possible". Since then so much happened ,I had to go through  surgery and now luckily I am recovering.  So far I have paid several hundred dollars for that emergency visit,nonetheless it dosent seem to come to an end.Every other week I get one bill.I am wondering when will the bills stop coming.The bills rankle me more because I did not get any treatment.Just because it was an emergency there is so much hype. That is not only monetary,but emotionally too it is very distressing.I already feel so guilty for causing trouble to my family in  every way.On top of that,with every bill my guilt feeling goes one no...

Today it is the second month of my surgery.Physically I feel much better.Emotionally and mentally I feel broken.I feel I have no meaning to my life.My life was already worthless as I never felt appreciated for what I do.The moment I realize my kids do not need me any more I will have no purpose in my life.Everyone's life will keep going on as it is. After the recent health problem I am always in fear that anything big can happen to me anytime.After a certain age women are already prone to get lots of hormonal problems and so will I.I am not being hypochondriac but the fear of being a burden on my husband makes me sick to my heart.I do not want to live for that day. I never felt I belong here .At times I feel so startled by the realization that how little attachment I have with everyone. The only person I feel the most attached with right now, is my youngest daughter.When ever I try to think of someone  I can not live without , I can think of no one.I thought I will always feel co...

Today is my birthday which started off very well but ended bitterly.Anyway looking at the positive side after my daughters every birthday is special to me .I have good memories of every birthday.Now "T" can make cards and write nice things on the cards too.Actually she makes something or the other almost everyday for me.My little "O" is also no less,she copies everything her big sister does.So today my daughters gave me a beautiful bookey of roses and a lovely card ,written lovely things in their handwriting. Cake is never a problem for me on my birthday or anyone's birthday in my hose because I love baking.I find excuses to bake.It is the joy of baking which gives me so much pleasure that no matter how tired and busy I am I still bake .So for today ,I made American sponge cake which turned out to be very tasty.Since it is made without butter or any fat it has less calorie than normal cakes.The cake was very tasty and amazingly light and spongy.After eating I ...

I have made so many friends so far in my life. Fortunately never made any enemy.Unfortunately after coming to the U.S, I failed to make a single friend in 10 years.Even when I made few friends it did not last for very long. The longest friendship which lasted was for about 16 months with a bengali family. We had our ups and downs but all in all the bengali family was very nice.The lady her self was very nice and always treated me like her younger sister. Ironically that turned out to be the biggest problem.She started expecting so much from me which I could not live up to. With two small kids I did not have time to spend hours with her everyday. I started cutting back and there it was friendship was over. Do I regret it? Honestly, yes I do.In all these years she was one of the nicest thing that happened to me. I do miss her,because our friendship was such that, that we could share everything. I used to feel relieved after talking to her. She was so open to me, that most of the time...

My elder daughter who is 6 years old ,has some terrific solutions to avoid fights and have a good time with their siblings.I was amazed at the suggestions and also surprised how she is following through those solutions her self with her younger sister.Now some quarrels still happens ,after all they are still small kids but to much extent things are working well. Few days back I got so frustrated with ongoing fights between my 6 year old and 3 year old that I was out of my wits.As usual I consulted my trusted wiser my elder daughter "T" for help even though she is one of the culprits .I asked her to write down few point about following:- I asked her what is good about fighting? And here are her points which will amaze you as well.In her own handwriting.                                                                 ...

Two things for today 1)The word "swift" otherwise means rapid,sudden.Today when I had to use it for my younger daughter's tricycle riding skills,it seemed just right.She is doing so well in just 4-5 days.Really no one can believe my little "O" can ride a trike so swiftly. 2)My elder daughter seemed sure-footed in  reviewing children's book.She was so to the point that it was very impressive to me.

I always wonder about this ,because every morning when I wake up ,I have  a long list of things to finish in whole day,surprisingly by the end of the day I find my self spent so much time cooking some thing nice for my daughters or my husband.Why does it feel so good? Is it for the hunger of appreciation or do I genuinely like cooking for them? It all started with a tiny ,innocent remark from my daughter.When she was 5 years old, one day she tells me ,"mommy I like your cooking but I do not like the food you make for me".And I was awestruck ,thinking how beautifully she could convey her message. I realized that even though she is small but her taste buds are getting refined now and she has surpassed the "baby type" food. This is the reason I am always on the look out for good recipes which can satisfy her taste buds,give her enough nutrition and make her happy.This takes too much time.Last couple of months when I was so sick and unable to cook,my younger daughter...

Reading with my daughters is lots of fun these days.We started reading Ruskin Bond's children Omnibus 2-3 days back.Before this book, I have read short stories,passages ,beginner reader's book or narrated  stores to my elder daughter but not the entire novel.So I was not sure how she will handle or she is even prepared for novels emotionally and intellectually.Then I thought I will give it a try and see how it goes.First I read one chapter then one chapter turned into two and then it is till going on.She is completely obsessed with the stories in the book.Story form Indian environment seems very intriguing to her.Several times I have to stop  and explain to her few words and cultural things but she got the gist of most of it by my expressions while explaining and reading it.So far the stories are flowing seamlessly. She listens to all the stories with so much concentration as if she is lost in the characters.Specially the story "The Bl...

They hear with their eyes and listen with their stomach.

When my elder daughter was born,I had no doubt in my mind what language to teach her.I taught her english.I was so immature to think that and by the time I realized it is too late.When I came to America I used to speak in Hindi with my husband.We used to have accent problem with Americans and at times it was very embarrassing when they looked at us with perplexity on their face.Therefore even at home my husband and I switched  completely  to english  to avoid those frustration and improve our accent.That never happened though. We continued this process  with our daughter too, although with her our mind set was different.We started her off with english so that she did not have to learn english separately.Little did we know that we were hurting her instead of helping her.Now she can speak fluent english ,can express herself better than kids of her age in India but the biggest drawback is that she picked up our accent.She can speak in American accent but it does not co...

I have two daughters,two lovely daughters who are very nice most of the time .However I will be lying to myself if I say they are my little angles.People who have kids can relate to the fact what I am trying to say.What you watch on T.V and movies are not the way real kids are.They are completely different in real life. At times they can be so nice that you will feel bad and curse yourself for saying such bad things about your own kids but there you go and next moment they are monsters.Ironically when they are nice and well behaved I dont feel they are the fruits of my labor,my whole day of devotion for them ,but the moment they become nasty I feel it is all my fault.  I go through this emotional roller coaster several times a day and think that it is all my fault,it must be all in my genes that they are so naughty,so rude,such fighters.I take the sole responsibility at myself without any doubt.I do not know how it works.At that time the motherly part of my brain is filled with...