My Views and Ideas: Life and Parenting

Yesterday I asked my almost 7 year old daughter , "Is not talking the right way to show your unhappiness, anger and frustration ?" For a small girl as she is ,her answer sounded so profound to me.If adults start thinking that way life will be so much easier.She said , "keeping quiet is not the right way to respond to any thing ,as it dosen't tell the person why she/he is angry,and so it does not solve the problem". She also said that by not talking it shows the other person how little you care about him/her. I really could not think through this as clearly as the  way she thought.Some times there is lot to learn from small kids .They have such straight forward answer to every thing, but at times I think ,that is the right approach we adult should also have.

Among so many gifts God gave me ,the most I am thankful for is that no matter what, no matter how worried I am, no matter what mental pressure I have, no matter how hurt I am but when I go to bed ,  I am always able to fall asleep.

My elder daughter is in grade 1 and she is studying the basic knowledge of studying maps in her social studies.The chapter makes me wonder ,it is such a practical thing to teach a child to understand maps.This is a very basic easy knowledge but it is very useful at every stage of life. When I came to the U.S.,I saw maps every where and I used to wonder how people understand maps so easily here,because it looked so complicated to me.However people here have apparently no problem understanding maps and direction. The ways and topics to teach here is so practical that some times I am amazed ,and it tells me why Americans are the ones leading in all kinds of discoveries in math ,science,medicine and software. In India we are force fed the topics to study in which we have no interest what so ever.We study ,we memorize and keep memorizing just to get good grades and pass the test. I feel that at this age I am learning so much from my daughter who is in grade 1.

Routine has become so hectic that I have to maintain a calender now. There is so much going on at both daughters  school,doctors appointment etc.etc , that it is hard to keep up without a calender . 

I have come across many websites dedicated to women matters solely.It disappoints me to read the contents in there.There are certain things about which if it is written genuinely can bring lots of good changes .For example equality at work place ,equality in school and collages,equality in raising boys and girls etc-etc. What I do not understand is when they advocate wearing skimpy clothes for women to show equality with men who are allowed to wear less clothes and it is acceptable.What is such a big deal about it.Men will love if women wear less and less clothes outside.They want to see the skin as much as they can.I am not saying wear burka but there is nothing wrong in wearing decent  cloths which will cover your body.Will the women themselves like to wear such clothes which will give them maximum exposure. At least I won't. If men get provoked by looking at women in skimpy clothes you can not blame them.That is how God has made them,that is how...

Some times in life people are unhappy just because they have a hard time accepting their current state of life.Where as life can be very happy just accepting that this is what my life is,I may  not be meant to live like this ,but the truth is ,now I can not change it anymore.This little realization can bring great happiness .I am not asking to become complacent but realization of your ground is some times very self soothing.

When I was a kid growing up I always ate fish with lots of spices and gravy,or may be some times just fried.If at that time someone had told me that fish can be poached(literally boiled) I would  have firstly refuse to believe and secondly would have just not even touched ,let alone eat. Interestingly, since couple of years we have been eating poached salmon and and I feel I have never eaten fish so tasty.It has a mild flavor,however very buttery and fragrance full.The best part  of this way of cooing is preparation and cooking time is remarkably simple and terrific.  Now I am at such a point where some one asks me to eat gravy fish I can not eat.I find the cooking very potent and devoid of fish flavors.  This experience tells me  that taste is just a matter of acquired liking.The more you eat some thing the more you start liking it ,even if the cooking dose'nt belong to your cuisine. Salmon cooking is all about how fresh the fish is and cooking is done at...

Last weekend we went to a Radha-Krishna Temple for Janmashtami celebration hoping that my kids will love it.The celebration event time was around 4:30-8:30 pm and so we thought dinner will be served around 8:30pm.We left home at around 6:00pm apparently not in too much rush to see the events.On the way we decided to stop by at dairy queen to have a quick softy.My daughters picked up chilled lemonade. All of us were enjoying and then suddenly we realized that we might get late.Kids on the other hand were  aloof about every thing and were enjoying their chilled lemonades.They looked extremely happy when we threw a bomb at them saying we have to rush and they have to finish fast.They tried to gobble up as fast as they could but the chilled drink was hard to swallow for them.Anyway being two inconsiderate parents we took our drinks and asked them to leave the store.Now the rule for our kids is not to take any drink other than water in the car.So before leaving both of them threw away...

Today in the morning while I was busy preparing breakfast and lunch boxes for kids ,I noticed a very interesting learning lesson going on in my living room between my two daughters.And I immediately realized the importance of pattern and math learning. My elder daughter is 3 years older than the younger one.Since the time younger one started talking both sister talk to each other the difference in age ,and every time in number.So for example "T" will say "when I become 7 years old you will become 4 years old".And then "O" will also repeat that same thing.Interestingly in last couple of months I observed that now "O"  comes up with an imaginary number for her age and guess "T's" age. And this keeps going on for a good 10-15 minutes. Other time I used to think that it is just a fluke that "O" is getting "T's" age right .Today I realized that every time her answer was correct.And she did it correctly until ...

Common core Math.

Today my little "O" went to school. It was her first day alone without me after she was born.It seems my world has a different side now. I could not believe my hands could not reach and touch her soft cheeks and bubbly hands to which I am so used to.I have a different kind of attachment with her. As if she is my last hope I can always rely upon without failure. From now on life will just keep changing. I hope for the better.

Two things for today again:- 1)Yesterday my little "O" went for "meet the teacher day".My elder daughter went to the same class ,same teacher in the year 2011.So obviously every thing was very familiar to me and "O" too.The biggest missing part was that one of the teacher has changed whom "O" used to adore a lot.But anyway she was very happy and very excited in the class room. 2)Last evening I had to go for the parent orientation and it started raining so heavily that the whole event was tipped down.

I practiced parking today.I thought I got a good hang of it, but obviously I did not.Because I did not park very well in our apartment complex.I will need a lot more practice.

This is the simplest yet tastiest gravy chicken I have had  anywhere.At least that is what everyone in my family says. You do not need lots of ingredients in this recipe,unlike the recipes these days.They ask you to add cream,cashew paste and lots of such things.In our house we make fun of recipes in which they add these pastes as adding these things can make even wood pulp tasty.But who will carry those extra fat on the waist ,that is something to consider. I usually use drumsticks but you can use mixture of all parts and it will taste the same. Here is what you will need:- Chicken -  2 pounds(cut into small pieces) Tomato  -  2(medium size,puree them) Onion    -  1 small        garlic    -   2 cloves              ginger   -   1and 1/2 inch Grind onion ,garlic and ginger together into a paste. Green chilli - According to your taste vegetable Oil- 3...

Today for the first time in almost 7 years I was separated from my elder daughter "T" for 6 hours and 45 minutes.After dropping her off to school ,I came back home but felt very lonely.I have never been  away from her for so long in my awake time.It felt as if time wont budge,it just stood still. For the first time in so many years, I had lunch alone ,without her .I felt very strange.I missed her too much.I know in few days I will get used to the routine.At the same time I also sense how it will feel when she will be away from me for even longer hours,when she will go to work,when she will have her own life. It felt as if baby bird just left my nest.Kids become big just like that.So savor the moment when they are still small,still need you and are still with you.

Tomorrow is "T's" first day of grade one.Time just flies away.

"T" will have her " meet the teacher day" tomorrow.She is excited.

I have regressed a lot in last two months after I stopped driving because of surgery.I also forgot some road rule which are dangerous.I have to read all the rules to refresh again. Overall I am not happy about myself .

Schools are about to start now,after almost 3 months of summer vacation.It is almost like being grounded.For parents it is a torture to have such a long vacation where kids are just free to do any thing any time.More when kids are too small to entertain themselves. Back at home we used to get a little sad after summer vacation was over ,because there was so much to do.But here kids get really bored.Specially the place where I live ,is so hot  that outdoor activity it not possible. Anyway kids are all excited to go to school.And why wont they ,school is so much fun here.If you just look at the class room,it looks so lively,so much fun.And I think kids learn more this way than the traditional way.This is "T's" kindergarten class room last year.  The whole day ,the two sisters play with each other ,fight and then become friends again within few seconds.What makes me happy that they never try to hurt each other even when they are very mad. The best time for me is when...

When we watch T.V or movies,kids look so awesome,they look so bubbly and full of pleasure ,who can make you forget life's all worries.This is more or less true even when you see a friend's kids,or kids in other distant family in real life.However the scenario is completely different when you are  confronted  by your own kids with whom you have to spend 24/7 .Then the picture is not so  pleasant  all the time. I said "confronted", because at times they become so  argumentative,that you have to become a straight laced parent to handle  the situation.They will come up with all kinds of excuses to get their way,yet you have to keep your composure or things get even worse. In spite of all when you talk about them to your friends and family you have to put the cover up.Even the close family members wont understand that kids can be mean and they develop their own nature.But 'no',people will still judge you,most of kids bad  behavior  can be put ...

Everyone needs a little embrace.An embrace in which you breathe,melt, drown in the sadness,complain,giggle,argue,fight,become happy everything in the world.For me that is the mother's embrace.Some times it may be true and some times not really.How can you get past the enormous love once you got from your mother's embrace. Today I was talking to my mother and all of a sudden she became so emotional.I wont say I did not feel that emotion because I can imagine what pain she is going through without me.What she said today sounded a little uncouth to me in the beginning ,however when she elaborated it ,I felt how sad she must have been at that moment.She said to me  that,even though she is a human mother but her life has become like a dog who gives birth to her kids and after few years she has no relation,no connection with the born puppies at all. This is more or less true.It has been 13 years that I departed from my mother.In this period I saw her 3 times ,every time for few d...

Food is such an eminent part of my life,or for that matter for everyone ,that without talking about food the whole conversation seems incomplete.My husband and daughters are big food lovers.In all these years I have come to the conclusion that food dosent have to be complicated to taste good.I consider some of the simplest food in my house to be also the tastiest. One of them is this "Broccoli Paratha".I can never go wrong with this.Everyone in my house loves this.It is simple to make,very quick and packed with nutritions,especially for kids.It is very forgiving and flexible recipe too,you can substitute broccoli with cauliflower,cabbage,spinach etc-etc. Here is what you are going to need. whole wheat flour- 2 cups Broccoli - Enough to make your dough green,The more the better(grated fine). whole cumin seeds - 2-3 pinches coriander leaves - a fist ful(chopped) salt - to taste oil - 2-3 teaspoon for mixing the dough oil - depending on the number of  pa...

Most of the time it is so easy to say ,"stand up for your self".More often it is easy too, only if you have enough determination and courage.Some times the task becomes so daunting and discouraging that you actually can not stand up for your self. For me Driving has become some thing like this.Every time I fail,I completely give up .Then somehow I gather courage and try again and there I go,I make such fatal mistakes that I again incline to give up.Right now I am in the boat where I feel like I will never sit in the driver's seat again. Driving is such a thing ,that I cant not take a chance to make a mistake.For me more because I have two kids sitting in the back seat.I can not jeopardize their life.It has become so frustrating that I dont think I can keep up with this.What is more frustrating that the whole America drives.I wonder am I that stupid that I cant even drive a car.  Some things are not for everyone.Maybe driving is one of them for me.I will just stick to...

My communication skills are intolerable and annoying.I had no idea I can not understand simple instruction,simple conversation.I wish people had told me before when I was growing up.People in India encourage meek behavior in girls so much that they develop strange ,dumb personality. Or may be it is just me.I feel so scared  of some people ,that slight chance of dispute and I completely collapse inside.This attitude is not in front of everyone.The moment I realize that the person is going to have a serious conversation,I am so dead  sure that I wont understand and my brain is completely stifled.I stop thinking.And in that exasperation ,I am unable to think clearly and cant take decisions, I just become so fearful. I understand it is a bad trait in a person.However I wonder why this happens !Is it completely my fault?  

I did not mean this to be a lazy post.I am so excited , my little "O" will start her school in a month.I am busy finding appropriate school items for her and Ordering school supplies for  my elder daughter. So this post is an unintentional lazy post.

The title seems so mundane,so ordinary isn't it? Because  everyone has to go through this someway or the other.There is no escape most of the time.And honestly no one can say ,they dont think about it . At least I do.So lashing out will be the easiest one ,the same is with keeping silent too.Moreover these two ways can annoy each other which is no good.So in all these years what I have observed work best are these :- 1)When you think the matter is going out of hand try to escape immediately to the bathroom. No one can say anything or object and ask you to continue the conflict.Take enough time in the bathroom to let things cool down a little. 2)Pick the safe topics you know about which will most likely never lead to conflicts,such as weather,food,childhood stories,grandparents social events in the family etc-etc. 3)Never talk about travel.I always had bad experience with it. 4)Never talk about how loved you are in your family ,because most likely ...

I remember some where along the road ,when I considered myself still a student ,someone said to me that his saddest moment is when he has to teach me something.Till this date I could not come out of that evaluation.This dosent mean I attribute all the failures of my life to that person,nevertheless it had a huge impact on me.I had already lost the battle of my career when I could not compete the medical entrance test .After that no matter what I did I proved my self a looser.I could not get over that. Today I was teaching my elder daughter some math concept and the memory became refreshed. They are so tender sentimentally ,that I do not ever want to have a slip of tongue and ruin the image of herself in her own eyes. She has been doing addition problems for quite sometime.Today I  was teaching her "carry-on-addition".She grasped the concept quickly and did all questions right.But when I gave her mixed problems,some carry-ons and some without,she made few mistakes. I assum...

Every morning I wake up thinking about doing so much .I have books in my reading list to read,I have to do summer reading program with my kids,"T" has  to practice reading and writing and do maths with me.Then do some arts and craft with my daughters to keep them occupied,exercise,alter some of my clothes etc-etc.This list is apart from everyday chores of cooking cleaning,ironing,mending,etc-etc.Some times it feels like  24 hours of time is nothing to finish this amount of work ,let alone my own hobbies. In spite of the long list of work at the end of the day,it seems like half of the time is spent in feeding my kids.My little "O" ,still needs help in eating and drinking milk.Now to be fair to "T" naturally ,I have to spend some time to feed her too. At the end of the day it feels so unsatisfied.It is hard to decide which work to skip and which is the most important.At that time the easiest choice becomes to skip exercise,I always wonder why is that? ...

May 1st, 2014 was the day when for the first time I had the realization of my health problem.I went to the emergency that night.Even though I needed to see the doctor so badly it never happened.Only a nurse practitioner could see me and I was sent back home with some treatment and few suggestions, most important being ,"see your doctor as soon as possible". Since then so much happened ,I had to go through  surgery and now luckily I am recovering.  So far I have paid several hundred dollars for that emergency visit,nonetheless it dosent seem to come to an end.Every other week I get one bill.I am wondering when will the bills stop coming.The bills rankle me more because I did not get any treatment.Just because it was an emergency there is so much hype. That is not only monetary,but emotionally too it is very distressing.I already feel so guilty for causing trouble to my family in  every way.On top of that,with every bill my guilt feeling goes one no...

Today it is the second month of my surgery.Physically I feel much better.Emotionally and mentally I feel broken.I feel I have no meaning to my life.My life was already worthless as I never felt appreciated for what I do.The moment I realize my kids do not need me any more I will have no purpose in my life.Everyone's life will keep going on as it is. After the recent health problem I am always in fear that anything big can happen to me anytime.After a certain age women are already prone to get lots of hormonal problems and so will I.I am not being hypochondriac but the fear of being a burden on my husband makes me sick to my heart.I do not want to live for that day. I never felt I belong here .At times I feel so startled by the realization that how little attachment I have with everyone. The only person I feel the most attached with right now, is my youngest daughter.When ever I try to think of someone  I can not live without , I can think of no one.I thought I will always feel co...

Today is my birthday which started off very well but ended bitterly.Anyway looking at the positive side after my daughters every birthday is special to me .I have good memories of every birthday.Now "T" can make cards and write nice things on the cards too.Actually she makes something or the other almost everyday for me.My little "O" is also no less,she copies everything her big sister does.So today my daughters gave me a beautiful bookey of roses and a lovely card ,written lovely things in their handwriting. Cake is never a problem for me on my birthday or anyone's birthday in my hose because I love baking.I find excuses to bake.It is the joy of baking which gives me so much pleasure that no matter how tired and busy I am I still bake .So for today ,I made American sponge cake which turned out to be very tasty.Since it is made without butter or any fat it has less calorie than normal cakes.The cake was very tasty and amazingly light and spongy.After eating I ...

I have made so many friends so far in my life. Fortunately never made any enemy.Unfortunately after coming to the U.S, I failed to make a single friend in 10 years.Even when I made few friends it did not last for very long. The longest friendship which lasted was for about 16 months with a bengali family. We had our ups and downs but all in all the bengali family was very nice.The lady her self was very nice and always treated me like her younger sister. Ironically that turned out to be the biggest problem.She started expecting so much from me which I could not live up to. With two small kids I did not have time to spend hours with her everyday. I started cutting back and there it was friendship was over. Do I regret it? Honestly, yes I do.In all these years she was one of the nicest thing that happened to me. I do miss her,because our friendship was such that, that we could share everything. I used to feel relieved after talking to her. She was so open to me, that most of the time...

My elder daughter who is 6 years old ,has some terrific solutions to avoid fights and have a good time with their siblings.I was amazed at the suggestions and also surprised how she is following through those solutions her self with her younger sister.Now some quarrels still happens ,after all they are still small kids but to much extent things are working well. Few days back I got so frustrated with ongoing fights between my 6 year old and 3 year old that I was out of my wits.As usual I consulted my trusted wiser my elder daughter "T" for help even though she is one of the culprits .I asked her to write down few point about following:- I asked her what is good about fighting? And here are her points which will amaze you as well.In her own handwriting.                                                                 ...

Two things for today 1)The word "swift" otherwise means rapid,sudden.Today when I had to use it for my younger daughter's tricycle riding skills,it seemed just right.She is doing so well in just 4-5 days.Really no one can believe my little "O" can ride a trike so swiftly. 2)My elder daughter seemed sure-footed in  reviewing children's book.She was so to the point that it was very impressive to me.

I always wonder about this ,because every morning when I wake up ,I have  a long list of things to finish in whole day,surprisingly by the end of the day I find my self spent so much time cooking some thing nice for my daughters or my husband.Why does it feel so good? Is it for the hunger of appreciation or do I genuinely like cooking for them? It all started with a tiny ,innocent remark from my daughter.When she was 5 years old, one day she tells me ,"mommy I like your cooking but I do not like the food you make for me".And I was awestruck ,thinking how beautifully she could convey her message. I realized that even though she is small but her taste buds are getting refined now and she has surpassed the "baby type" food. This is the reason I am always on the look out for good recipes which can satisfy her taste buds,give her enough nutrition and make her happy.This takes too much time.Last couple of months when I was so sick and unable to cook,my younger daughter...

Reading with my daughters is lots of fun these days.We started reading Ruskin Bond's children Omnibus 2-3 days back.Before this book, I have read short stories,passages ,beginner reader's book or narrated  stores to my elder daughter but not the entire novel.So I was not sure how she will handle or she is even prepared for novels emotionally and intellectually.Then I thought I will give it a try and see how it goes.First I read one chapter then one chapter turned into two and then it is till going on.She is completely obsessed with the stories in the book.Story form Indian environment seems very intriguing to her.Several times I have to stop  and explain to her few words and cultural things but she got the gist of most of it by my expressions while explaining and reading it.So far the stories are flowing seamlessly. She listens to all the stories with so much concentration as if she is lost in the characters.Specially the story "The Bl...

They hear with their eyes and listen with their stomach.

When my elder daughter was born,I had no doubt in my mind what language to teach her.I taught her english.I was so immature to think that and by the time I realized it is too late.When I came to America I used to speak in Hindi with my husband.We used to have accent problem with Americans and at times it was very embarrassing when they looked at us with perplexity on their face.Therefore even at home my husband and I switched  completely  to english  to avoid those frustration and improve our accent.That never happened though. We continued this process  with our daughter too, although with her our mind set was different.We started her off with english so that she did not have to learn english separately.Little did we know that we were hurting her instead of helping her.Now she can speak fluent english ,can express herself better than kids of her age in India but the biggest drawback is that she picked up our accent.She can speak in American accent but it does not co...

I have two daughters,two lovely daughters who are very nice most of the time .However I will be lying to myself if I say they are my little angles.People who have kids can relate to the fact what I am trying to say.What you watch on T.V and movies are not the way real kids are.They are completely different in real life. At times they can be so nice that you will feel bad and curse yourself for saying such bad things about your own kids but there you go and next moment they are monsters.Ironically when they are nice and well behaved I dont feel they are the fruits of my labor,my whole day of devotion for them ,but the moment they become nasty I feel it is all my fault.  I go through this emotional roller coaster several times a day and think that it is all my fault,it must be all in my genes that they are so naughty,so rude,such fighters.I take the sole responsibility at myself without any doubt.I do not know how it works.At that time the motherly part of my brain is filled with...

Nothing in life is as important as health.It hurts the most when you are reminded every minute of your unhealthy days that how big of a burden you are.

May 20th, 2014 was the worst day of my life.I feel robbed,incomplete and extremely sad.

Today for the first time I drove the car without any help, just my little "O" and me.I got this strength and courage  from some where,some how I do not know. All the thanks and gratitude go to my husband,who has spent hours training me and supporting me, some times very nicely and some times  "oh not so nicely". I am grateful to him  helping  me get rid of that super fear of driving.However I still have  long long way to go.

"O" became almost 3 and half years old .By action and looks, she is still  very small but she is very understanding compared to kids of her age.Today for the first time she drank milk in a glass and she is very proud about that.Big sister's encouragement means a lot to her ,and  "T" is a real big sister when it comes to encouraging "O"  ."T" makes drinking milk in the glass so much fun and enjoyable to "O" that she was happy to throw away her milk bottles in the trash .The same way "T" has made school going so much fun and such  a big event for "O" that she  cant wait to go to school .Every passing day is a pleasure for her ,where as for me now everyday counts when I am with her alone.After a long time I will be all alone for 3 hours, two days a week,which feels so unusual to me right now. Spending whole day and night with kids make me feel so overwhelming and  frustrating at times but when I think of my old lo...

If there is a supernatural power,I pray to give me strength to go through this time calmly.

I took driving lessons in 2005.I took  these lessons couple of times ,took the driving test and strangely passed in first attempt too. Got my driving license ,all done.Now people must be  thinking I must be an experienced driver by now.Ironically this is not true.I  drove around for couple of days after getting the license and stopped driving altogether all of a sudden.I developed a strange fear of driving that I am not able to overcome yet. Today after 9 years  I was behind the wheels again taking driving lessons  and I was very scared to drive.I could overcome this fear after few minutes but the moment the lesson was about to end I was back to square one.I feel frustrated right now,I have zero confidence in my driving ability.I cant not convince my self that I cant drive. The strangest fear I have is that what if I fail this time too.What if I wont be able to drive again after these lessons.The frustration is at such a height that I can not focus at any th...

So I finally finished the novel.There is the feeling of accomplishment as I have never read this thick novel before.What I concluded from the novel is , that if this is the life of doctors it is really tough.It was a kind of emotional roller coaster for readers too . Platonic relationship between a man and a woman  can bring a whole lot of change in their lives.While reading this novel  I so badly wanted Laura and Barney to get together and take their relationship beyond just being  friends,and when they really did it, I felt  like a big heart ache has gone away.All other characters were more or less insignificant to me. Life is too short to take a single day for granted.Everyday starts with a new hope,  new desires and new feeling of worthiness.Your existence should be acknowledged.Feeling of being wanted gives immense pleasure and  the opposite brings sadness in our lives .Laura never felt capable enough to find a good man until Barney made her feel h...

Happy marriage anniversary to me ! I am wishing myself as no one else wished me ,as a matter of fact I did not take anyone's wish ..I kept my phone on mute and did not pick up even a single call. I do not regret as I do not feel anything in my heart.In last couple of days I  have been trying  to seclude myself from everyone.Not as a matter of choice,but as a necessity.I did not know before  that there are ways to seclude your self from anyone you want . Right  ow I am reading a novel from Erich Segal ,"Doctors".It is a  very engaging novel about a bunch of doctors ,their medical school,ups and downs of medical profession.It is a very thick novel and I am still half way though.However once the novel is in my hand I forget everything.It keeps my mind off of certain thoughts.

How kids grow so fast and have their own identity is hard to believe.At times it feels like time is flying and it sure is. On the other hand when I am depressed I feel like why dont I just get up one day and find that my kids are already grown up and are ready to roll without bothering me at all. My daughter who is 6 years old is going through a phase in her life where she has started feeling the peer pressure already.Some of her friends some times wear a little make-up and so now she also wants to wear all her make up such as lipstick ,lip liner and hair band and leggings etc-etc ,there is long list of things to do for her. It all started with a small remark from her friend about her looks .My daughter has short hair.So may be because of that  one day one of her friends told her that she looks like a boy.Since that day She tries her best to look like a girl in every possible way she can.Now she is completely against getting a hair cut,she will not wear jeans or pants . It see...